Cyborg Peach
by YourBFFL
Summary: Mario and friends return from a wonderful vacation to find a cyborg has taken the Chancellor of Mushroom Kingdom hostage! What will Mario and Friends do?


Cyborg-Peach

Mario and the gang had just returned from an all exspense paid island vacation, thanks to the Chancellor of Mushroom Kingdom. Mario along with Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, Toad, and Mallow, where having wild misadventures on 'Utopia Island' when they got a call to return to Mushroom Kingdom, ASAP. We join them just when they arrive on the scene.

Mallow: Well, see you Mario!

Mario: What! You're not gonna help us?

Mallow: Nope!

Mallow then drew a whistle from his pants and blew it. Almost instantly, a large vehicle came soaring down from the clouds and landed in Mushroom Kingdom.

Mushroom Citizen 1: My leg!

Mallow jumped onto the Nimbus Transport Bus and flew off into the sky.

From outside you could hear the Chancellor screaming wildly as if he were being seared with a fiery iron.

Mario: Come on "pals"!

All of his friends stared, followed by a random slap from Luigi.

Luigi: Don't ever say that again.

The 4 daringly rushed up the 4 foot hike to the castle and burst through the doors. A familiar tune began to play as they continued to run in slow motion. When the three finally reached the Chancellor's room, they found the Chancellor and a robotic version of Peach drinking green tea and playing Chess. There were confused looks shot back and forth across the room. The Chancellor and the Cyborg stood up.

Chancellor: I suppose we can resume now...

Cyborg Peach: Indeed! ahem>

Cyborg Peach: Puny humans! Prepare for death beyond your wildest dreams!

Yoshi: My wildest dream is to be taking a long walk on the Las Vegas strip with a cheap prostitute who likes me for me and not my butt that won't quit.

Luigi: Wow… I never noticed that before..hmm….

Peach: Woohoo! I love fornication!

The Cyborg glared confusedly at the others as the casually conversed.

Cyborg:Enough! You will listen to me or perish to a realm of sheer painand torment! Hack, Spark, Cough>

Mario: A-whatcha gonna do about it?

Cyborg: This!

The robotically enhanced clone of Princess Peach, pointed her middle finger at Mario. Suddenly, the fingertip of her finger lifted and suddenly launched a missile at Mario. His head went spurting off into the distance.

Luigi: Yes! Now I will be the star of Super Luigi Bros! Who will be my sidekick?

Before anyone could answer, flames erupted around Luigi! The cyborg was breathing fire madly like a ravenous boar.

Peach and Toad, after soiling themselves, bowed shamefully to their new queen.

Cyborg: Excellent! Now, we must take care of the Chancellor!

As if Peach and Toad had been planning this all along, the two suddenly peeled their skin off, with the completely obvious zippers on their backs, and revealed two hideous robot versions of themselves.

Chancellor: Ahhhh! Somebo---gulp, strangle

He was suddenly interrupted by a large extendable claw. He was lifted through the roof and placed on the edge of the castle. The three robots then got jetpacks out of nowhere and flew up after him. The real Peach then grabbed the chancellor by his throat and hurled him off the edge. His body fell onto a large statue of a spear and was impaled.

Cyborg:Hear me Mushroom Kingdom!We are your new rulers! Bow down to us!

Suddenly a horde of loud 'woo-hoos' and 'yee-haws' erupted from the audience. Some danced, some made sweet love on he castle lawn, others pulled out ready to use songbooks with hymns titled "Die Chancellor Die" and "Death to Government" and started singing.

Toad: What's this? Why are they not trembling with fear?

Suddenly an airborne beer can slapped Toad in the head and sent him spiraling down into a field of spikes and broken furniture the crowd had destroyed and placed there earlier. The two Peach clones stood bedazzled on the rooftop. Just as the Peach clone was about to launch a warhead onto the unruly town, the castle began to shake.

Peach and Clone: Eh?

The castle began to fall. The crowd was rampaging and beating the castle with machinery and other various items. One strange woman was beating her kid against the wall. The castle then deteriorated and fell on top of the two cyborgs.

Peach: Curse the environment! explode>

Clone: I love children and cupcakes! explode>

Mallow suddenly came flying down to the destroyed castle.

Mallow: What happened here?

Before he got a straight answer, a citizen approached him.

Mushroom Citizen 1: Hey! You broke my leg! Die!

The man pulled out a knife and butchered Mallow to death!

The crowd continued to party and experiment with mind-expanding drugs until they all sooner or later passed out. Everyone then died, due to the fact that someone had slipped a little extra something in the town beer supply…………….but anyway, the kingdom lay in shambles and blood was strung about like Christmas lights and with that, we end our tragic, yet spiffy, story!


End file.
